Tuesday, September 11, 2007

When to discuss Sept. 11

Cooper was not yet three months old the morning of Sept. 11. Our chunky little boy sat on my lap in our family room as I watched the "Today" show. Steve was just a few feet away, washing dishes before he left for work. We watched the horrible events unfold on our television. Steve went to work, and I stayed glued to the TV, switching among channels, fearful I would miss something. (That continued for about a week, and then I turned off network and cable news for years.) Later that day, I took Cooper to Grandma, who took care of him for a few hours while I went to work. I was still on maternity leave, but I couldn't bear to sit still at home, so I returned to the newsroom to stay busy.

We've purposefully not discussed that dreadful day with Cooper yet. When he was 3 and attended a local day-care center, I had a small battle with one of the directors. She was insistent on remembering Sept. 11 at the school, with children no older than 5. I'm sure she was well meaning, but I think she was so wrapped up in the idea of patriotism and honoring heroes that she lost sight of the fact that toddlers and preschoolers probably don't need to have discussions about planes flying into buildings. (The issue was moot for us in the end -- we were actually in D.C. that week for a work conference.)

Cooper doesn't watch the news, though he does pick up the newspaper every day, usually bypassing the news for the comics (also my first destination section). And I'm sure some of his friends know something of Sept. 11. So the time will come soon, I think, that we'll need to have a very basic discussion. What I find most troubling is explaining to him how people could be so evil and yet how we shouldn't be scared on a daily basis. How New York City, a city he loves for what it is now, was altogether different on Sept. 10, 2001.

No comments: